WRITTEN BY BUTTERNUT / SHRIMP SYSTEM

How do I tell someone I'm a system?

• Assess if it is safe to tell this person you are a system. Would they tell someone you don't trust? Would they be supportive? Are they someone who has hurt you before? Would they take advantage of this information?
• If they are safe to tell, why do you want to tell them about this? Do you need their help? Maybe they are your therapist. Do you want them to understand you better? Maybe they are a loved one. Figure out what the purpose in telling them is.
• Bring it up! Maybe something along the lines of "Hey, I wanted to let you know that I am a system, which means [insert your explanation of being a system]. I wanted to tell you this because [reason.]"
• Remember, you do not owe anyone any information about your trauma, and it's not your place to educate anyone. If someone wants to know your trauma and you aren't comfortable sharing, then don't. If someone wants to be more educated on something and they only come to you, you don't have to answer their questions. You can tell them to look into it, or provide them resources to research.

Figuring out who you are as an alter

There are many ways you could go about figuring out your identity as an alter. You could, on your own or with a friend, write a list of questions for alters to answer for themselves, you could try different hobbies, foods, games, names, pronouns, etc, and see what fits. There are plenty of things you could do, but remember that you don’t have to have it all figured out in a day.

What if an alter doesn't fit a specific role?

This is completely normal! Not every alter will fit into a role, especially not immediately. You don’t always need to focus on labels, but if you are interested in finding one, check out alter roles!

Am I a system?/I think I may be a system.

If you think you may be a system, my best advice to you is, if your life is not being actively threatened (mentally, emotionally OR physically,) to educate yourself. Do lots of research, expand beyond the information on this website. Be careful when doing research. If you can’t think and you start to space out, stop. If you are under 18, you are definitely already struggling with self expression and identity, so don’t stress too much. Don’t worry about labels until you’re older. If you are 18+, I suggest you try to talk to a professional if possible. If not, self-diagnosis (with proper research) is always okay as long as it’s a tool for your own mental health and isn’t used to harm others.

How can I learn more about my system friend(s)?

Short answer, just talk to them! Ask them questions about their system, their experiences, etc. It never hurts to ask questions. If they are uncomfortable, they should tell you. The key to all relationships is communication.

Age regression, Syskids/System littles, and how to treat them.

• System littles, sometimes referred to as syskids, are alters who present as roughly 0-10 years old. This range can vary from system to system, but that's the general consensus. If an alter is younger than the body, they may actually mentally be their age, unlike alters who may present older than the body. When interacting with a little alter, you should always ask them or another alter in their system what is okay to talk about or do around the littles in the system. Typically, littles don't like to hear about NSFW, substances, or profanity, but of course this can vary.
• Age regression littles are different from system littles, because singlets can also age regress. People who consider themselves age regressors are people who may mentally regress to a younger age. They may or may not be completely stuck in that mental age while regressing. Sometimes, the age you feel can be fluid. Always ask for age regressors boundaries, just as you would with system littles.

Grounding techniques

Grounding techniques are used for situations where you may not feel like you are a part of reality, whether that's dissociation, overthinking, a panic attack, etc. Grounding techniques are incredibly helpful for many people. Here is a list of some I have compiled: